Yankees Run Clinic on Trampoline Jumping

By On April 1, 2012 · 3 Comments · In Whimsy

Kathy Willens / AP

The Yankees made their way over to the Miami Marlin’s ballpark this afternoon, but not before a mandatory workout in Tampa. After Joba Chamberlain’s negligent injury last week, the team’s coaching staff felt it was important to speak to all players about the perils of trampoline jumping. Mick Kelleher was quoted saying, “Jumping on trampolines puts lives in danger, not only your own, but you endanger the people around you.” The team isn’t alone in their crusade to end these activities by major league players, the MLB and MLB Player’s Associated released a joint statement saying,

“We strongly discourage any trampoline abuse by our players. Nearly one person dies a year from operating trampolines, which is a risk no person should take. We have the proper institutions set up to deal with abuse, and players should know they can always find help from trampoline addiction.”

For some players at the clinic today, saying no to trampoline jumping hit too close to home. Throughout the lecture, one unknown player looked quite agitated according to a source. Only a few minutes into the instructional talks, the player proceeded to jump on a trampoline in front of the entire Yankee team and say,

“Do you know who I am? I’m Nick Swisher. I play for the New York Yankees. You don’t know my family. You don’t know me. I will kill you. I know all of you, and I will kill all of you and blow this place up.”

Although the clinic ended on a sour note, the team is preparing to continue these types of preventative talks. Joe Girardi confirmed that a discussion on carrying empty boxes down stairs, intense Guitar Hero playing, and sitting on your fat lazy ass all winter were already scheduled before Friday’s season opener in Tampa.

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3 Responses to Yankees Run Clinic on Trampoline Jumping

  1. fuster says:
    April 1, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    good post….HAFD

    Reply
  2. Pastor Carl says:
    April 2, 2012 at 7:58 am

    That was hilarious! I sat at the home pc last night laughing out loud and had to explain to my wife what was so funny. However, I think you left one item out: age sensitivity training. We’ve got several mid-to-late 30′s plus a few 40+ year olds and these guys have to be treated carefully. Epithets like ‘Methuselah’ and ‘Moyer’ will simply not be tolerated, nor excessive references to stool softeners, joint pain relief or ED treatments.

    Reply
  3. Trampolines says:
    April 5, 2012 at 4:03 am

    Your blog is very nice.I really impressed from your blog.The wording about Trampoline is very best.I am a big fan of your blog.
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    Reply

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